Yes Man

One of my recent Netflix movies was Jim Carrey's Yes Man. The movie is based on Danny Wallace's book (no relation) of the same title in which the main character decides to say "yes" to everything. In the movie, that "yes" ranges from giving money to a beggar to signing up for persianwifefinder.com to approving every loan applied for. As a result, his life explodes with vitality, adventure, excitement, and romance. There are some negative consequences that need to be worked out at the end, but overall the message is the same. Be open to life, say "yes," and you will find blessings you have never imagined.

What I found interesting was the contrast between this advice and most of what I read about in the realm of productivity and stress reduction. Most experts say that we say "yes" far too often, leaving ourselves overworked, overcommitted, overscheduled, and overstressed. Their advice is to say "no" far more often to open up margin and enjoy life more fully.

So which is it? If I want to experience the most out of life, do I say "yes" or do I say "no?" The answer, as it often is, is both. We are limited in our time and energy, so the demands of the world have to be limited. The world will never limit them for us, which is why we must say "no." We must say it a lot and guard our priorities. The purpose of that is not to avoid things, though. The purpose of saying "no" is to free us up to give a resounding "yes" when the right requests come.

Those right requests may be from your son wanting to read The Monster at the End of This Book for the sixth time...in the last 30 minutes. Or it could come from a random colleague who wants to have lunch. Or from anywhere else. They could be opportunities that you know are important. They could be opportunities that you are not sure about. Because you have said "no," though, you have the freedom to say "yes" to whatever life sends your way.

"Yes" and "no" are both powerful words. Use them wisely, the results may well amaze you.

The Power of the Limit

I recently wrote that I am inspired by extremes. Part of the reason is that I am a pretty moderate guy and I admire those that are willing to put it all on the line. The bigger part of the reason, though, is what the extremes can teach us about living in the middle more effectively.

In engineering, we talk about solving a problem "at the limit." For example, given an equation to solve, we determine the solution if x = 0. Or we look at the solution if x = infinity. Those problems are almost always easier to solve, which is nice, but they also give the limits for the solution. That is, if x is anywhere between 0 and infinity (and it often is), then the solution lies between the two limit solutions as well. By looking at the limits, we learn about the middle.

The same applies in our lives. Tim Ferriss became famous a couple years ago with a book called The Four Hour Workweek. In it, he talks about extreme strategies for maintaining your job (that is, income) while working only four hours a week. This is a solution near the limit. It is extreme, and very few of us will ever be able to support our families on four hours a week of work. However, the book is still useful because it forces us to think about how to cut down on work so that more time is available for other things. Cutting a workweek from 50 hours to 40 hours is not extreme, but the extreme can help show you how to do it.

Other extremes that can get your mind going:

• What would my life look like if I were independently wealthy?
• How would I structure my day if I did not need to sleep at all?
• What would my priorities be if I knew I would live forever? If I knew I had 3 months?
• How could I plan a week-long vacation with a budget of $50?
• What would I do with 6 months of vacation every year?
• What would happen if I said "yes" to every request for a month? What about "no"?
  

By thinking about the extremes, it is amazing how the options open up in the middle. What extremes have you contemplated? How has that affected your life?

(Photo credit to Cristóbal Alvarado Minic. Bonus to those who can identify the equation without clicking on it.)

Transformational Leadership

The Matrix of Leadership cannot be found, it must be earned.

Thus saith the Ancient Primes to Sam, hapless nerd/hero of the Transformers movie franchise. Sam, of course, earned the Matrix of Leadership, or else Optimus Prime would remain dead and The Fallen would have destroyed the sun. So we can say thank-you to Sam.

How did he earn the Matrix, though? It was not through any particular bravery (he gets called a little girl by his girlfriend) or desire to save the world (he turned down Optimus' offer for that earlier). Two things earned Sam the Matrix of Leadership: loyalty and hope.

He was loyal to the Autobots, and specifically his friend Optimus to the end, risking his life and the life of his family to save him. He then maintained hope that Optimus could be saved, even when all others had given up and the method of salvation itself had dissolved into dust.

Leaders should listen to this. Among the 638 other attributes that the leadership literature says leaders need, here are two that even a second-rate summer blockbuster can make clear. Be loyal to your friends and your people. Never give up hope. If a leader betrays, or a leader loses, hope, there is nothing left for the followers. Earn the Matrix of Leadership, and you may not save the sun, but you will be a better leader.