Sunday, November 08, 2009

Learning from people

I have posted before about the benefits of encountering things outside our normal experience (try something new, selective reasoning, who needs conflict). This morning I was thinking about people like that.

We all are inclined toward hanging out with people like us. Others who think like us, look like us, act like us, believe like us. As a result, there is always a huge swath of humanity out there, even in our own neighborhoods and cities, that we never spend time with. They are still around, though, on TV or at the grocery store, so our minds are forced to put some sort of characterization on them. One of the defining elements of mankind is that such characterizations (stereotypes) are rarely complimentary.

Unbelievers are fools. Believers are kooks. Gays are freaks. The poor are lazy. Blacks are criminals. Whites are racist. Frenchmen are cowards. Communists are evil. Conservatives are Nazis. Liberals are communists.

The list goes on, and on, and on.

Yet many of us have met at least one person from a group that is not ours. Someone who dresses differently and talks differently and believes differently. Nearly always, we are surprised at some level about how...normal that person is. It turns out that very few people are actually fools, kooks, freaks, or criminals. Most everyone is actually pretty normal.

So I want to encourage us all (myself especially) to do a few things.
  1. Meet someone not like us. Have lunch, talk, listen. Intentionally expose ourselves to others.
  2. Use that person to change our perception of the group. It is tempting, after meeting someone who challenges our stereotypes, to assume that they are the exception. That is possible, but it is not likely. More likely, our stereotype is wrong, and we need to allow that to change.
  3. Remember that each individual does not represent the group. After changing our perception of the group based on the new person, keep in mind that the next new person we meet will change it some more. Keep group perceptions fluid (we will never eliminate them completely).
Book learning is one of my favorite kinds, but people learning is way more powerful, important, and hard.. Try it and let me know what you learn.

0 comments:

Post a Comment